Jax
New Adventurer
MS Tales Episode 1: Character Recovery
^Read that first
Damn you, Lanethan, I had to write the whole thing by myself
Unfortunately, I"m aware that in MS:C you do not telefrag, you simply get stuck. Oh well.
The Master Sword Tales Episode 2: Telefragged!
© 2006 by Lanethan and Jax
Lanethan=Rifkin
Jax=Jhaxavier
---
Jhaxavier looked at Death and cocked an eyebrow.
âHow long have we been here? Iâve lost track of time, Iâm afraid,â he said, shrugging.
Death took out a small, hourglass with purple sand in it. He raised it in front of his face and examined it, saying EXACTLY 22 YEARS, 7 MONTHS, 21 DAYS, 3 HOURS, AND 42 MINUTES.
âThe hell? Felt like a few daysâ¦â Jhaxavier stepped down from the trollâs now twitching carcass and walked into the floor portal. He popped out of a portal outside the glass box he was in before and walked over to the other side of the room, where Rifkin was sulking at a desk.
âHowâs it going?â he asked.
Rifkin said nothing for a while, then said, âI got all the time in the world to read booksâ¦all the time I want...â His voice was tinged with a little madness.
âThen why arenât you reading?â
âDeath of Rats stole my glassesâ¦that little bastard.â
âYeah, too bad heâs already dead.â Jhaxavier patted him on the shoulder and turned to look at Death, now looking very out of place sitting at his mahogany desk in the middle of the stone lot complex. He was sifting through paperwork.
âSo are we ready to take on this mage guy?â asked Jhaxavier, flexing unimpressively in his gear.
I SUPPOSE. HOWEVER, YOU MUST BE READY TO TAKE HIM ON. HEâS A LOT MORE DANGEROUS THAN YOUR RUN-OF-THE-MILL MAD WIZARD Death said, not looking up from his paperwork.
âOh yeah, I wanted to ask you something,â said Jhaxavier. Death spun his swivel chair around without moving at all, his skeletal hands folded.
WHAT?
âWhy donât you kill him?â
AH. WELL, DEATH CANâT JUST STRIKE PEOPLE DOWN JUST LIKE THAT, EH? THATâS FOR GODS TO DO. He shrugged.
âWho cares, he doesnât have any relatives or anything.â
I DONâT DO ANY SMITING AROUND HERE. THE GODS DO THAT. I SEPARATE PEOPLE FROM THEIR WORLDLY BODIES. Deathâs eyesockets stared at Jhaxavier from under the hood.
I CANâT CUT A HEALTHY ORC WARBOSSâS LIFE CHAIN, FOR INSTANCE, BECAUSE HE ISNâT IN A STATE OF DEATH OR NEAR DEATH. THEIR BODIES ARE VERY HARD TO PENETRATE WHEN THEYâRE ALIVE. I CAN, HOWEVER, CUT DOWN LESSER BEINGS SUCH AS RATS, BUT THATâS WHAT I HAVE DEATH OF RATS FOR. He jerked a thumb towards a cobweb-ridden mousehole at the end of the room.
AND ABOUT KELEDROS, HE HIMSELF MAY BE UNDEAD, AND I CANNOT SEPARATE UNDEAD FROM THEIR CARCASSES. YOU SEE, he said, now crossing his legs, UNDEAD ARE BASICALLY SOULS STUCK IN ARMOR, ROTTEN BODIES, ETCETERA, THAT ARE UNDER CONTROL OF A HIGHER BEING, USUALLY A NECROMANCER. THE SOULS STUCK IN THESE SHELLS HAVE NO CONTROL, THEY JUST KEEP THE BODY FROM FALLING TO PIECES.
Death then seemed to clear his missing throat, sounding a lot like a saw cutting metal than an âahemâ. ANY QUESTIONS?
Rifkin was turned around in his chair now, his sulking evaporated. âYou should become a lecturer.â
Jhaxavier yawned. âSo when do we go and get him?â
NOW, ACTUALLY.
Death pointed behind them. A black and rainbow colored portal pulsated behind them.
âUuuhâ¦thatâs trippy,â said Jhaxavier looking away from the painful sight, âbut where does this thing end up at?â
THE TEMPLE OF BALANCE IN EDANA. FROM THERE YOU GO THE SAME ROUTE YOU TOOK BEFORE, EXCEPT GO TO THAT DANGEROUS PASSAGE FROM HELENA.
âFirst, whereâs my glasses?â asked Rifkin. He looked sulky again.
AH. I WAS GETTING TO THAT. Death suddenly reached down and picked up a tiny figure in an equally tiny cloak by the cowl. GIVE HIM HIS STUFF BACK, RATS.
Death of Rats hung his skull. SQUEAK. Death of Rats reached in his cloak and handed to Death Rifkinâs glasses, then his quill, and then a glowing ring.
Rifkin sighed and took them from Death. âThanks a load mate.â
DONâT MENTION IT. INTO THE PORTAL. NOW.
âRightâ¦you first, Rifkin,â said Jhaxavier.
âWhat, so I can break your fall first?â asked Rifkin, cocking an eyebrow.
âExactly.â
âWhatever.â Rifkin stepped into the trippy portal and vanished. Jhaxavier followed suit, but not before trying his hand first. It stuck.
âOh bollocks, itâs stuck.â
Death proceeded to kick the rest of Jhaxavier into the portal, his screams turning to squirrel-like screeches as the portal enveloped him.
STUPD MORTALSâ¦I WONDER IF THEYâLL ACTUALLY BE COMPETENTâ¦
***
It was a very sick feeling, going through portals. It felt like your brain was being smashed in by a grapefruit wrapped around a large gold brick.
Rifkinâs first sight was of something fleshy, very red, and squelchy. The next thing he knew, he was standing in Edanaâs Temple of Balance, covered in blood, guts, and someone elseâs skin and general insides.
Needless to say, the priests looked appalled.
Rifkin took a step backward and asked quickly, âWhat the hell just happened?â
One priest (presumably the high priest, since he was talking) standing with each foot on a black and white side of the room, replied, âYou just telefragged, my son.â
âHuh?â
âNew adventurers are always teleported here. Unfortunately, their influx is so large that when they take portals or teleports to this Temple, they usually end up suffering serious injury or death due to the volume of new adventurers teleporting at the same spot.â
Suddenly, Jhaxavier materialized and immediately staggered to keep his balance.
ââ¦damn spectrum portalsâ¦â he mumbled, brushing off his clothing. He turned and looked at Rifkin, who was still wearing some other guyâs pelt. âWhat the hell happened to you, mate?â
âErâ¦according to the high priest, I telefragged.â
âAh. I donât want to know.â Jhaxavier flicked the gore off his foot and strode over to the dark side of the temple towards the exit.
Rifkin shrugged at the High Priest and pulled off the dead adventurerâs pelt, and was heading towards the exit at the light side when the High Priest said, âWait a moment, adventurer.â
The High Priest mumbled something under his breath and swept his hands slowly towards Rifkin. Immediately, Rifkinâs clothes were clean and very shiny, the gore seeming to fade away.
âWhoa, howâd you do that? I thought light mages mostly did healingâ¦â
âAh, thatâs what they all say.â The high priestâs noble tone changed considerably into a street-smart old manâs. He grinned, tapping the side of his flat nose conspiratorially. âDonât you wonder who makes the nobilityâs clothes so pimped?â
âAhâ¦I see. Thanks anyway, I really appreciate it.â The priest nodded as he exited the chamber.
Silence ensued.
âWell, what are you waiting for, clean up that mess!â the priest roared, waving his arms. âLetâs face it, Iâm overstaffed, I donât need this many priests to maintain a Temple of Urdual,â he muttered.
---
TO BE CONTINUED.
See if you can spot all the references in the story! There are 4 references to various things. Find em!
^Read that first
Damn you, Lanethan, I had to write the whole thing by myself
Unfortunately, I"m aware that in MS:C you do not telefrag, you simply get stuck. Oh well.
The Master Sword Tales Episode 2: Telefragged!
© 2006 by Lanethan and Jax
Lanethan=Rifkin
Jax=Jhaxavier
---
Jhaxavier looked at Death and cocked an eyebrow.
âHow long have we been here? Iâve lost track of time, Iâm afraid,â he said, shrugging.
Death took out a small, hourglass with purple sand in it. He raised it in front of his face and examined it, saying EXACTLY 22 YEARS, 7 MONTHS, 21 DAYS, 3 HOURS, AND 42 MINUTES.
âThe hell? Felt like a few daysâ¦â Jhaxavier stepped down from the trollâs now twitching carcass and walked into the floor portal. He popped out of a portal outside the glass box he was in before and walked over to the other side of the room, where Rifkin was sulking at a desk.
âHowâs it going?â he asked.
Rifkin said nothing for a while, then said, âI got all the time in the world to read booksâ¦all the time I want...â His voice was tinged with a little madness.
âThen why arenât you reading?â
âDeath of Rats stole my glassesâ¦that little bastard.â
âYeah, too bad heâs already dead.â Jhaxavier patted him on the shoulder and turned to look at Death, now looking very out of place sitting at his mahogany desk in the middle of the stone lot complex. He was sifting through paperwork.
âSo are we ready to take on this mage guy?â asked Jhaxavier, flexing unimpressively in his gear.
I SUPPOSE. HOWEVER, YOU MUST BE READY TO TAKE HIM ON. HEâS A LOT MORE DANGEROUS THAN YOUR RUN-OF-THE-MILL MAD WIZARD Death said, not looking up from his paperwork.
âOh yeah, I wanted to ask you something,â said Jhaxavier. Death spun his swivel chair around without moving at all, his skeletal hands folded.
WHAT?
âWhy donât you kill him?â
AH. WELL, DEATH CANâT JUST STRIKE PEOPLE DOWN JUST LIKE THAT, EH? THATâS FOR GODS TO DO. He shrugged.
âWho cares, he doesnât have any relatives or anything.â
I DONâT DO ANY SMITING AROUND HERE. THE GODS DO THAT. I SEPARATE PEOPLE FROM THEIR WORLDLY BODIES. Deathâs eyesockets stared at Jhaxavier from under the hood.
I CANâT CUT A HEALTHY ORC WARBOSSâS LIFE CHAIN, FOR INSTANCE, BECAUSE HE ISNâT IN A STATE OF DEATH OR NEAR DEATH. THEIR BODIES ARE VERY HARD TO PENETRATE WHEN THEYâRE ALIVE. I CAN, HOWEVER, CUT DOWN LESSER BEINGS SUCH AS RATS, BUT THATâS WHAT I HAVE DEATH OF RATS FOR. He jerked a thumb towards a cobweb-ridden mousehole at the end of the room.
AND ABOUT KELEDROS, HE HIMSELF MAY BE UNDEAD, AND I CANNOT SEPARATE UNDEAD FROM THEIR CARCASSES. YOU SEE, he said, now crossing his legs, UNDEAD ARE BASICALLY SOULS STUCK IN ARMOR, ROTTEN BODIES, ETCETERA, THAT ARE UNDER CONTROL OF A HIGHER BEING, USUALLY A NECROMANCER. THE SOULS STUCK IN THESE SHELLS HAVE NO CONTROL, THEY JUST KEEP THE BODY FROM FALLING TO PIECES.
Death then seemed to clear his missing throat, sounding a lot like a saw cutting metal than an âahemâ. ANY QUESTIONS?
Rifkin was turned around in his chair now, his sulking evaporated. âYou should become a lecturer.â
Jhaxavier yawned. âSo when do we go and get him?â
NOW, ACTUALLY.
Death pointed behind them. A black and rainbow colored portal pulsated behind them.
âUuuhâ¦thatâs trippy,â said Jhaxavier looking away from the painful sight, âbut where does this thing end up at?â
THE TEMPLE OF BALANCE IN EDANA. FROM THERE YOU GO THE SAME ROUTE YOU TOOK BEFORE, EXCEPT GO TO THAT DANGEROUS PASSAGE FROM HELENA.
âFirst, whereâs my glasses?â asked Rifkin. He looked sulky again.
AH. I WAS GETTING TO THAT. Death suddenly reached down and picked up a tiny figure in an equally tiny cloak by the cowl. GIVE HIM HIS STUFF BACK, RATS.
Death of Rats hung his skull. SQUEAK. Death of Rats reached in his cloak and handed to Death Rifkinâs glasses, then his quill, and then a glowing ring.
Rifkin sighed and took them from Death. âThanks a load mate.â
DONâT MENTION IT. INTO THE PORTAL. NOW.
âRightâ¦you first, Rifkin,â said Jhaxavier.
âWhat, so I can break your fall first?â asked Rifkin, cocking an eyebrow.
âExactly.â
âWhatever.â Rifkin stepped into the trippy portal and vanished. Jhaxavier followed suit, but not before trying his hand first. It stuck.
âOh bollocks, itâs stuck.â
Death proceeded to kick the rest of Jhaxavier into the portal, his screams turning to squirrel-like screeches as the portal enveloped him.
STUPD MORTALSâ¦I WONDER IF THEYâLL ACTUALLY BE COMPETENTâ¦
***
It was a very sick feeling, going through portals. It felt like your brain was being smashed in by a grapefruit wrapped around a large gold brick.
Rifkinâs first sight was of something fleshy, very red, and squelchy. The next thing he knew, he was standing in Edanaâs Temple of Balance, covered in blood, guts, and someone elseâs skin and general insides.
Needless to say, the priests looked appalled.
Rifkin took a step backward and asked quickly, âWhat the hell just happened?â
One priest (presumably the high priest, since he was talking) standing with each foot on a black and white side of the room, replied, âYou just telefragged, my son.â
âHuh?â
âNew adventurers are always teleported here. Unfortunately, their influx is so large that when they take portals or teleports to this Temple, they usually end up suffering serious injury or death due to the volume of new adventurers teleporting at the same spot.â
Suddenly, Jhaxavier materialized and immediately staggered to keep his balance.
ââ¦damn spectrum portalsâ¦â he mumbled, brushing off his clothing. He turned and looked at Rifkin, who was still wearing some other guyâs pelt. âWhat the hell happened to you, mate?â
âErâ¦according to the high priest, I telefragged.â
âAh. I donât want to know.â Jhaxavier flicked the gore off his foot and strode over to the dark side of the temple towards the exit.
Rifkin shrugged at the High Priest and pulled off the dead adventurerâs pelt, and was heading towards the exit at the light side when the High Priest said, âWait a moment, adventurer.â
The High Priest mumbled something under his breath and swept his hands slowly towards Rifkin. Immediately, Rifkinâs clothes were clean and very shiny, the gore seeming to fade away.
âWhoa, howâd you do that? I thought light mages mostly did healingâ¦â
âAh, thatâs what they all say.â The high priestâs noble tone changed considerably into a street-smart old manâs. He grinned, tapping the side of his flat nose conspiratorially. âDonât you wonder who makes the nobilityâs clothes so pimped?â
âAhâ¦I see. Thanks anyway, I really appreciate it.â The priest nodded as he exited the chamber.
Silence ensued.
âWell, what are you waiting for, clean up that mess!â the priest roared, waving his arms. âLetâs face it, Iâm overstaffed, I donât need this many priests to maintain a Temple of Urdual,â he muttered.
---
TO BE CONTINUED.
See if you can spot all the references in the story! There are 4 references to various things. Find em!
